Parents as Youth Sports Coaches:

What To Do if You Find Yourself in the Coaching Role

Fall sports are kicking off, which means youth sports teams across the country are looking for parents to volunteer and take the lead. If you find yourself suddenly stepping up to coach your child’s youth sports team, you probably have some questions: How can I be an effective coach? Should I focus on skills, teamwork, having fun, or all of the above? How can I encourage my own child while avoiding favoritism?

Youth sports offer kids the chance to grow and learn. But sports can also be a place where abuse can thrive. As a new coach, it’s important to understand your role in keeping youth athletes safe from misconduct and abuse. Below, we explore actions you can take—such as practicing open and transparent communication and following abuse prevention policies—to protect athletes and prioritize safety on your team.

What Kind of Coach Do You Want to Be?

You have the power to choose the type of coach you want to be—and create an environment where athletes can thrive and succeed. But thriving athletes need to first be safe athletes. By fostering safety and well-being on your team, you’ll set athletes up for a healthy sport experience free from misconduct or abuse.

Before heading into the season, take a moment to reflect on what you can do to create a culture of safety. Explore actions that will protect your athletes and understand what actions might put them at risk of abuse.

Here are three actions you can take to prioritize safety:

Follow your league’s abuse prevention policies. Many sports leagues have policies in place to safeguard athletes. These policies are based on prevention research and best practices. For instance, there should be a policy that restricts one-on-one interactions between adults and minor athletes. That is because research shows that people who groom children often try to get them alone. Understanding why this policy was created can help you understand what actions—such as driving an athlete home after practice—may put them at risk of abuse. Explore our Minor Athlete Abuse Prevention Policies for more information and guidance.
Model respect, equity, and integrity. Favoring one child over another creates an unhealthy team culture. For example, favored athletes may be allowed to bully their teammates without consequences. In other cases, coaches showing one player special attention could be a sign of abuse. Creating a positive sport environment on your team helps athletes recognize and contribute to a culture of safety.
Create an atmosphere that welcomes and encourages all athletes. Positive sport settings are defined by kindness, support, and respect. They do not tolerate abuse or misconduct, such as bullying or harassment. By fostering an inclusive environment in sport, you can model the importance of respecting and valuing each athlete equally.

Set Your Team’s Expectations Around Safer Sport

While helping athletes improve their athletic skills is part of coaching youth sports, creating an environment where athletes can safely learn and grow is equally—if not more—important. By including abuse prevention strategies in your coaching game plan, you can provide your athletes a safer sport environment to play in.

Here are some examples of expectations you can set that promote safer sport:

Keep interactions and communications with athletes public. One-on-one interactions between minor athletes and adults—whether in person or via technology—can place the minor athlete at risk of abuse. Set the expectation to always interact and communicate with athletes publicly and make sure another adult is present. Or, in the case of technology, always include another adult on the text, email, or message. Explore your sport organization’s abuse prevention policies or our Minor Athlete Abuse Prevention Policies to learn more.
Have a plan for responding to misconduct. Despite one’s best efforts, abuse or misconduct may occur on your team. Be sure you know how to respond to misconduct or abuse and where to report it if it should happen.
Define teamwork in terms of athlete safety. At the start of the season, have an age-appropriate conversation about how everyone on the team can help make the environment safe. This might be speaking up if someone is being harmed, holding each other accountable for their actions, or practicing sportsmanship by positively encouraging each other—even when someone makes a mistake. All of these examples foster a safer sport setting where abuse or misconduct is not tolerated.

Successfully Navigate Power Imbalances

Coaches are inherently in a position of power—this allows them to use their knowledge to help athletes learn how to play the game, understand the rules, and master skills.

But this power can also be exploited, creating a negative sporting environment that’s defined by fear, punishment, and shame.

Youth sports coaches who are parents are tasked with navigating this power imbalance, especially when it comes to coaching their own child.

How do you create a healthy space where your child wants to engage with you and their teammates? How do you coach with a sense of balance so you’re not being too hard on your own child—or favoring them?

To help answer these questions, use motivation and positive discipline to guide how you interact with your youth sports team—including how you interact with your own kids.

Adopt a coaching style rooted in motivation and positive discipline.

This style should:

Be based in respect
Build self-esteem
Support athletes in reaching their goals
Help athletes understand the consequences of their actions
Enhance team performance
Show how to correct harmful or unproductive behavior

Key Takeaways

Coaching your child’s youth sports team is an exciting and memorable opportunity—but it’s also an important responsibility.

Coaches are responsible for the mental and physical safety of their athletes. By understanding how to create a safer sport setting that’s informed by abuse prevention policies, you’ll be able to lead with care and put athlete well-being first.

For more guidance on how youth sports coaches and parents can advocate for safer sport, explore our abuse prevention resources.