4 Early Warning Signs of Grooming

Learn to Cultivate a Culture of Safety in Sport

Read Time: 3 Minutes

Preparing your child for the upcoming sports season may mean purchasing equipment and setting up carpools with other trusted parents. Your child’s well-being, though, extends beyond helmets and safe rides.

To help cultivate a culture of safety for your child’s sport experience, consider learning more about grooming, what it is, and how it may occur in youth sports environments.

What Is Grooming Behavior?

From practices to travel to competition, youth athletes often spend time as a team with their coaches, assistant coaches, adult volunteers, or other adults—like officials, parents, spot administrators, or even older youth athletes.

This experience can be an opportunity for kids to grow and learn in their sport under trusted guidance, mentorship, and support. Or it could be an opportunity for abuse or misconduct to occur.

Grooming occurs when someone intentionally engages in a series of behaviors so they can sexually abuse a child. These behaviors—like isolating a child or giving a child special treatment—are used to build trust with the child and with the child’s family or community. Once trust is built, the abuser continues to manipulate people so they can continue the abuse.

Signs of Grooming in Youth Sports

Sign 1: Favors or gives special treatment

Example: Gives gifts to one youth athlete, but not to the rest of the team
Example: Stays after practice alone with a youth athlete to provide private, one-on-one support

Sign 2: Creates opportunities for isolation

Example: Offers to drive a youth athlete home alone after practice
Example: Meets with a youth athlete in private spaces (like an athletic office) or in a space where no one else is present (like a deserted locker room)

Sign 3: Alienates and encourages secrets

Example: Uses “us vs. them” tactics to alienate a youth athlete from their parents, friends, or the rest of the team
Example: Sends private text messages to a youth athlete and tells them to keep it a secret

Sign 4: Pushes physical boundaries

Example: Finds opportunities to give a youth athlete massages
Example: Insists on prolonged hugs with one youth athlete

What Parents Can Do

Being alert to grooming behavior can help you recognize the behavior before it escalates. But what do you do if you notice one or more of these early warning signs occurring?

Report early warning signs of abuse:
If your child’s sport is part of or affiliated with the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Movement, make a report to the U.S. Center for SafeSport. If your child’s sport is outside of the Movement, report the misconduct to your sport organization or law enforcement. Learn why responding to and reporting early signs of boundary violations can help raise concerns and stop inappropriate behavior before it turns harmful.
Talk to your kids about abuse:
Having conversations about abuse with your kids can help create a sense of safety and confidence. By talking openly they’ll be more likely to come to you if anything makes them feel uncomfortable.

Lastly, it’s important to understand that private, one-on-one interactions (both in-person and digital) are high-risk situations. Research shows that most abuse happens when an adult is alone with a child. As a parent or guardian, find ways to be present at your child’s practices and games, arrange carpools so your child can always travel with other teammates, and attend private lessons and coaching sessions so your child is never alone with an adult.